Dissolution

There are five stages of dissolution: Personal, Dyadic, Social, Grave-dressing, and Resurrection.

Through my rough relationship right now, much of my "break" in my relationship is because of me. In first stage of dissolution is the personal stage. That is, I have grown dissatisfied and I am no longer happy like I should be any more in my relationship. For the last year or two, I have been dissatisfied and unhappy, unless it is bed time because of the warmth feeling and the feeling of being wanted. This is most likely the longest stage I have been in.

Next, I have been in the dyadic stage for quite some time now. I have been saying a lot that "I don't want to be in this relationship anymore". For my reasons, I do not want to be in a relationship where smoking, and gambling are involved or any other nasty habits. After my childhood, I am trying my best to have the best and cleanest life for myself and my son.  It is hard to walk away from someone you love.

The social stage is not as common as the last two stages but has its role. I can talk to my partner's parents, I talk to my best friend, co-workers, and other family members about whether or not to continue my relationship. I discuss the options on what I have to do to get my partner to start doing his share in the relationship or even if it is just with his own child. We talk about the positives and negatives in the relationship and they are always near, to support me.

Since my relationship is obviously not over as I have chosen to keep working at trying to get it better, my relationship has not been through the grave-dressing faze where mourning starts to decrease and become acceptable to the loss of the relationship. I hope I will not have to go through this phase.

If my relationship was to ever end, we will always be stuck in resurrection. We have a son together to raise and who needs both mommy and daddy. We may even be in this stage right now because everything has been considered "yours" and "mine" rather than "us" or "we".