Lee's Love Style

Lee created six dimensions of approaching love: Eros, Ludus, Storge, Mania, Pragma, Agape. My results from Lee's Love Style Inventory was...  Eros: 7 Mania: 8 Ludus: 2 Pragma: 8 Storge: 2 and Agape: 5. I can really see myself as the three I ranked the highest at also listed below.

Eros: love at first sight.
Mania: obsessive and possessive lover. jealousy, low self-esteem, need of attention.
Pragma: practical, rational love, "love with a shopping list".

First off, I can definitely say I started off in the mania love. I know I am a sensitive person and I have had a rough childhood. Trusting someone and feeling wanted throughout my teenage years was desperation, which is one reason I got pregnant at a young age. I have always had a low self-esteem. Luckily, I can say it is better now than it was then but I also have a boy to stay positive for. I believe someone needs to take care of themselves before they can take care of someone else and that is exactly what I did. My attitude was flipped around for for my son.
Even today, I know I scream for attention from my partner because we never spend time together. I get angry because I do not get any attention. Because I am angry, it causes me to push him away. I do not like to be by anyone when I am angry which is a lot of the time. Even though I tend to push him away I still get that jealousy feeling, I feel sick to my stomach, and I just feel like I cannot do anything.

As I had many on and off relationships throughout my teenage years, I started creating a "love with a shopping list" in my mind, stated from my power point of Lee's Love Style. I want a hard working country boy, someone a bit taller than me but not super tall, someone who took their time to get to know me and always want to spend time with me, I wanted someone outgoing, and talkative but obviously not as much as me. I want a guy who has goals and dreams he wants to accomplish. I want our goals for our future home to be alike because otherwise it would not work for me. For example, My guy needs to have the want to stay living in the country and have a lot of land, who is okay with me have horses, dogs, cats, etc. I want a guy that wants to drive around in a big chevy or ram with me.  I want a guy that wants a family and wants to be a part of it all the time!

 Lastly Eros: "Love at first sight!" I have that now. And how do I know it was love at first sight? Even though it took me a while to finally say yes, I still wanted to be with him. I believe it was love at first sight. But, to be sure I had to test it. The first time my man asked me out, I told him not now because I was not ready for a serious relationship. In the mean time, as a teenager I was still around "dating" other people. I actually only had one other relationship. Interesting, because I knew it was not going to work out. I was "only in it for the game". Had a little bit of the ludus love going on. I knew the guy would end up cheating on me and with who. Of course, that was exactly what happened. It only last for about a month.
I finally decided I should give him a chance. It has been four months, this guy had been begging me to go out with him. We always hung out and we were going to school together. He was always around me. I was finally able to step our friendship up to the next level. The one relationship I did not want to be in four months ago because I was not ready for a serious relationship. Tell you what, for a serious relationship, yes it was! I was pregnant with our son a little over two months who is going to be three this month (Oct. 29th)! We have been together for four years come November. I think my gut and heart finally agreed on love the first day I was asked out by my loved one and told him I wanted to wait and did not want a serious relationship. <3