Intimacy Poisons

Addictions have been a strong poison in my intimacy life. My loved one is experiencing quite the addictions of smoking and gambling. I am afraid drinking is following that. There are five core issues for couples/families which include chronicity, intoxication, wet & dry periods, intoxication becomes normal, and intoxication takes over the relationship. His addictions have become similar to these core issues.
As smoking and gambling became addictions they almost seem as it is part of his daily routine. Now that we have moved into different homes, it is harder to tell. But, when we were living together, it seemed like it was every night he was at the casino gambling and be smoking on the way home because I could smell it on him. This is core issue number 1: chronicity. He was afraid to come home at times because he knew how I would react.
Core issue #2: intoxication kicked in. He constantly said he was done smoking and gambling. Things were going to change. He would start coming home. He knows how I feel about smoking but his excuse was about how hard it was to quit. Even when he had just started. When smoking and gambling turned into addictions, it seemed like there was more fighting and arguing, blaming and shaming on one another because one is "perfect" and one is "the worst person ever!"
Core Issue #3: Wet and dry periods, it has made our relationship unpredictable. I have officially got to the point where I just do not say anything about it anymore because it always sets him off. He gets angry with me and many ways I cannot stand tolerating with anymore.
Core issue #4: the intoxication becomes normal. As it has been an ongoing habit and for two years of lying about his addictions, I gave up on trying to work on my relationship. I gave up because I am tired of the lies and him not being around for his family, nor does he care about our health very much. I just expect these addictions from him now because whatever I do or say, will not change anything. Lastly,  Core #5: intoxication takes over the relationship. I say it pretty much has. I cannot stand being around him anymore with these nasty habits and thoughts of addiction to gambling and smoking. We never go out on dates anymore, nor do we even spend time next to each other. Though, I still fight here and there for my relationship to work it always hurts me to know I am with someone who makes my healthy much worse.
The intoxication dance has been a strong part of our relationship. He is irresponsible and under-functioning when it comes to taking care of his family. I am done speaking about how I feel and I am tired of waiting around for things to change. One thing I am not sure about is how shameful he is about not being a big part of his sons life. How can you not be shameful for such negative actions around your children? How do you not want to be responsible for your own wonderful child? Addictions are very effective in relationships. Addictions can be full of pain and heartache for both partners.