Blog Audit: Expansion 1

Lee created six dimensions of approaching love: Eros, Mania, Ludus, Pragma, Storge, and Agape. My results from Lee’s Love Style Inventory was… Eros: 7, Mania: 8, Ludus: 2, Pragma: 8, Storge: 2, and Agape: 5. Jordan’s results were Eros: 5, Mania: 3, Ludus: 3, Pragma: 5, Storge: 6, and Agape: 7. I found the results shocking because it is the first inventory we both took where we are opposites. It makes me wonder where our issues are. We are so much alike, yet so different. We ranked close with Eros: love at first sight. We ranked close with Ludus as well by one point.  I ranked highest in pragma with and eight, as he scored a five. So pretty close. Lastly, we both ranked closely with agape.

Eros: Love at first sight. I can see Eros being accurate because I believe that is basically what we are. Eros connects us to one another as a couple. It may not have been right away that we knew were actually in love but the ability to grow that love was there. The knowing we could be in love was there. For myself, I had to put a test to it before we started dating. I just got out a crappy relationship not to long before we started dating. That relationship was on and off and it had torn me a part. I did not want a “serious relationship” after that. It was the first time I ever had a gut feeling that if I were to get in a relationship with this man it would be serious.

He showed up in my life after a discussion on Facebook and we continued to hang out after that.

After years of going to school together and we were hardly anything to each other. For four months I did not want to go out with him because I did not want a serious relationship. I finally settled down with myself and thought to give it a try because I really “liked” him. As I mentioned before I had rejected him because I did not want to be in a serious relationship. He begged and begged me to go out with him during these four months. I just could not. I did not want to hurt again. I was not prepared to handle more hurt after my last break up. If I was in a relationship, “I was only in it for the game”. I cannot get hurt if I am not really committed to a future with someone. He was jealous that I was dating someone else. It was a relationship I knew was not going to last because I knew he would eventually cheat on me. After knowing he waited for me for four months there was something there. I believed I was not going to be torn apart again. Talk about a serious relationship because about two months later I was pregnant with our son Drake. I think my heart and gut finally agreed on love the first day I was asked out by my loved one. I told him I wanted to wait. As of November, we have been together for four years. We have our issues but no break ups like the last one I felt I was committed too. But, who knows I was just a teenager.

From Jordan’s results from Eros and comparing them with mine, we both believe that “Love at first sight” is possible. The first time we kissed or even hugged we felt that genital response.

We first kissed while I was in the “I was only in it for the game” stage of relationships. For the longest time, I knew he wanted to kiss me but I did not for the longest time. I eventually could not resist anymore. We both wanted it more than anything! I never understood what physical appearance I have that has always attracted me to him but I guess I do. For me, it was always his country looks and country style that always turned me on. He has always told me that when he first touched me he knew that love was real between us, that we were meant to be together. This is the one thing that was a struggle for me because I was dealing with hurt of a nasty break up but I feel like today that it was there it just was not clear to me.

Our opposites are Mania and Storge. I scored high on mania as he scored very low/ not even half of my score. It was the other way around with storge. He ranked higher on the storge as I did not even score half of what he ranked at.

  Though, I have shifted from this love style, when I read about the mania love style it aches me to know that I was like this at one time. Mania is an: Obsessive, related to jealousy, low-self-esteem, and violence. I can admit I do easily get jealous, I do have a low self-esteem, and I have been in some violent relationships. As a teenager I was obsessive with a relationship. I think a lot of it had to do with the way I grew up. There are just a few things from this category, I have seen out of him but it is rare, those actions would show.  

Storge: The Best friend lover, solid & stable commitment, slow burning, peaceful, and affectionate. “Familial love”, and value stability, enjoyment of the others company. I always wanted the storge approach to love but it was never me. I have never been able to hold that best friend relationship. I moved all over the place and prefer to be to myself. The side that brings my storge approach is the commitment. It is highly important, as well as being affectionate.  I can see that the storge is a strong approach for Jordan because I am his one and only girlfriend and we have a child together. For four months we were hanging out like the best friends but I was afraid of the commitment as that time before we started dating. I think he is strongly committed to me but he has his own self issues such as gambling, smoking, and drinking.

I feel that this inventory helped me understand the type of person I am in a relationship and what I need to work on. It describes behaviors that I want to have, what I do have, and what I would like to try to avoid. I feel by understanding your love type will help with guiding towards a healthy relationship. I want to take what I have learned and start making changes for that healthy relationship I would like to have for the rest of my life.