Blog Audit: Expansion 2

Chapman’s five love languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. My love language is quality time. I believe my boyfriend’s love language would be physical touch. To test this, I had him take the test as well and got his opinion on what he thinks about his results. His results were shocking for me but he did not really give me much of an explanation. He felt his scores aligned with what he would think his love language is. His highest score was Quality time 10, and Words of Affirmation 7. Our words of Affirmation was off by 1 point!

Quality time: Quality time is the most important to me of the five languages because I believe you cannot have a relationship without quality time. I believe the more quality time together, the stronger the relationship. With no quality time there is no meaning to a relationship. Quality time allows you to get to know your partner. If I do not have quality time in a relationship I would feel like I am sleeping by a stranger. Now that my relationship became a family, quality time is very important for our child as well. Quality time allows our child to get to know both the parents and allows the child to feel secure and loved. Quality time helps builds the healthy relationships in the family!

Some of the things that we have done often for quality time are going to Treasure Island to bowl, we go to country jam, and we enjoy going to sports events like the Timberwolves basketball games or the Twins games. These are events we go to with Jordan’s parents and brother usually. I am happy about this quality time but I feel like there is not enough if any quality time actually set for ourselves. I irritated that Jordan, Drake, and I do not go out to do stuff together just the three of us. This is something I would like to plan and we are both committed to one day out of the week or even three times a month, we would go out and do something. I would also like to be committed to having a date night once a month at least for Jordan and me. This would give us that time spend time together and talk over issues we may have, talk about what we want to do in the future, how we want to carry on our relationship, etc. We have a lot of things we do need to go over to make our relationship better. I want a healthy relationship.

Words of Affirmation: I believe every partner in every relationship should be complimented. Compliments helps the partner feel supported, loved, and wanted. It keeps the positive energy in the family and in the relationship. I feel everyone needs encouragement. I know I do. It helps me start my day and helps me sleep when I get those phone calls or text messages saying “Good Morning” or “Good Night” (with more details obviously). For all the times I felt like giving up because I was so stressed out, I never did because I had a family to encourage me in my work. Every day, every night, just about I go to work and go to school along with taking care of my two year old who will be three on Saturday! "Actions speak louder than words" to me, yes I agree but words are also a powerful thing. Words of affirmation makes communication healthier as well as the relationship. It shows me that my loved one is by my side, is willing to help support me, and wants me to go after my dreams.

Ranking words of affirmation between 1 and 10 in my relationship, I would rank it about a five. He does give me the words of affirmation but it is not often as I would like. An issue I have is how he seems to only notice me dressed up when I am not going out with him, but when we do it seems like I am never good enough for him because he complains why I do not “look as good” when we go out together. He encourages me on my school work when it comes close to graduation or end of a term but that is about it. I wish I had more support throughout the school year from him like I do with the rest of my family. He does not really encourage me much on my dreams. Rather, he just lets me go for it without giving an opinion. If he wants to be a couple, I need to know his opinions and compromise with these we do not agree with.

Physical Touch: I think if the questions to physical touch was worded differently for the men, his results would have been a bit different. Physical touch between friends and family vs. a loved one have different meanings. I was amazed by how close Jordan’s and my results are. I was amazed that my score was higher than his. I ranked five, he ranked three. It makes me wonder if he answered them to what I want to see or he actually answered these for himself. LOL! I know I could not make it through a relationship if there was no physical touch. When I am in public with my loved one, I want to feel special and feel like I am his one and only. By doing so, I enjoy holding hands, having each other’s hands around our waists, hugging, and kissing. It shows that the couple are not afraid to show that they are a true couple, they both want this couple relationship they have. My favorite type of physical touch is cuddling. Nothing is better than having both my baby boy and my significant other cuddled up into my arms. A strong feeling of love is in the air! 

For the most part I think the physical touch is above average. Though because of the lack of quality time, we do not to meet the standards where I would feel secure and love from physical touch which would be the hand holding, hands around our waists, and the closeness in general. It lacks majorly throughout the day until night time comes.

Acts of Service: It may help the stress when my partner helps me with things and I am thankful for it but I never expect it. I am use to doing everything on my own and would prefer the independence. I do not like to rely on anyone for anything. I have always been able to juggle many things on my own at one time. The biggest work load I have put on myself was going to high school, college, working full time, and pregnant and through being a new mother. I appreciate when I get help on chores because it gets things done faster. I will always appreciate a person for helping me.

 It would be nice to have more help around with the household maintenance, and the care for Drake as it would release the stress and I would not feel so overwhelmed. Though, I accept where the acts of service sits in our relationship because I am independent and would rather do everything on my own. I know everything will get done when needed, done right (if not, I am the only one to blame), and helps me stay organized.

Receiving Gifts: You can never be too excited to receive a special gift from a special person. I think the topic of receiving gifts is quite low. Though, it may feel heart-warming, I think about how there are children who have very little or nothing at all. We should be thankful for what we already have. I love receiving gifts but it is not something I would expect to get nor is it something I would need to feel loved. There is nothing in my relationship that would need improving with the language of receiving gifts. The only thing I would like improved that could connect with receiving gifts is the quality time. If it means gifting me to a concert, it is more based on the improvement of quality time.