Infidelity

 Infidelity: the betrayal of relationship expectations; being unfaithful to your spouse.

What "counts" as infidelity? As I learned about infidelity, there are many things people believe is infidelity or not. For example, some people think that talking or hanging out with the opposite gender while you are faithful to someone else. Someone may think it is infidelity. Open relationships are also a strong topic about whether infidelity occurs or not.

Key issues I learned about infidelity are: how often does it happen, When in a relationship does it happen, what causes it to happen, how does it affect a relationship, are relationships salvageable..... (look at power point)? Factors associated with infidelity are quality of the relationship (most common factor), boredom & lack of emotional support, love style, and attachment style.

I feel that infidelity is a basically meant for couples who want to commit to a serious relationship, this could occur right away in the beginning or decide to want to continue a relationship and make it serious throughout time. Throughout my years of relationships before I became committed to the one I am in now, I feel as two of many other relationships I had could have had that infidelity. As a teenager I was lucky to have one of those long time relationships. As I think back to that relationship I  think we did have that infidelity because we always talked about our future. When I look back at it now, it would have never worked out because we were always on and off, there was also a lot of cheating in the relationship. But, because this was to me a long relationship at the time, I fought for and years later tried to call and apologize. Therefore, I could see this relationship as one that had a lot of infidelity.

As my relationship was on and off and I was a teenager, many of my relationships were for the purpose of having a boyfriend, just wanting the wanted feeling, or even just trying to make an ex jealous. For myself I do not see that infidelity could have existed. Though, I do not know how the guys think. I can only speak for myself.

Later, I was asked out by a wonderful guy who was much different from everyone else I was dating. He was everything I wanted in a guy; country style, hard working, and someone who had always wanted to take me out! For once, it was someone taking me out rather than me taking them out.
When he asked me out the first time, I said no because I was not ready for a serious relationship. After four months, I finally told him I was ready to give "us" a try. For once, my heart and mind were thinking alike and I just had that gut feeling this relationship would be serious. And it was! On top of that, he fought for me for four months. Now, how would that not be a relationship that would be faithful instantly? Definitely are relationship that was started could never end without infidelity. We were both committed to a long lasting relationship.

Well, my relationship of four years now, has hit an infidelity point. To start off, our relationship has very poor communication. Thinking about infidelity makes me think about whether there is still a chance or not for my relationship.  Can our relationship heal from infidelity. What caused infidelity to be a factor in my relationship? I honestly believe it is because my relationship is still young. We have a two-three year old son as of Oct. 29th and it forces me to be a "grown-up" parent and I have to think of someone before myself. On the other side, he still runs around and continues with his nasty habits ever since I became pregnant. He runs around like a freely "young adult", as what any other 18 through the early 20's men do; parties, gambling, smoking, and doing his own thing. He is selfish. He does not think much of his family or at least it feels that way.
When his daily activities turned into nasty habits, our relationship became unfaithful. It does not feel like he supports me like he should, he does not spend time with me or his son, he constantly lies, does not help at all financially. To me, I feel like the number one priority in someones life is family! A Relationship also needs trust and respect. He does not care how I feel about smoking, therefore it does not seem like he cares about mine or our sons health. Another major characteristic in a relationship is health; When in a committed relationship and through marriage, I believe it is labeled as "US". In my opinion these are things that are labeled as infidelity into my relationship. It does not show from my loved one that he is faithful to me. He just pushes family away. You cannot be faithful to someone if you are disrespectful and is constantly lying.